If you think you haven't met your soulmate you might not be giving someone you already know a chance because you're holding onto the notion your soulmate is still out there waiting for you.
Being more open-minded about what soulmates are and how to know if you have found one can help you discover a soulmate who might be hiding in plain sight. There are a series of questions to ask yourself that can help you determine if a person in your life is your soulmate.
The eight questions that reveal if a person is your soulmate:
1. Are you both able to be true to yourselves?
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When you tend to only show your good side, your relationships are not fulfilling as examined by a study in the Journal of Psychology, and the connection is not of the soulmate level.
However, when you uncover, embrace, and love your self-perceived bad side and the shameful aspects you hide from others, it makes room for your soulmate to fully accept you as you are. And makes you more capable of fully accepting them.
2. Do you and your partner accept and embrace each other's quirkiness instead of looking for perfection?
Intimacy is felt when both people feel loved for who they are. Don't be afraid to love your partner for who they are since unconditional love is a quality of soulmates.
If they have good intentions but do something to upset you, you can still love them, even if you don't love their behavior.
3. Do you collaboratively resolve issues?
When problems come up, you do what you can (without sacrificing your integrity) to change things for the better. A study in the American Journal of Family Therapy suggests you don't let your egos get in the way of resolving issues. Soulmates are too emotionally aware to let egocentric behavior ruin the day.
4. Are you solution-focused rather than blame-focused?
When you disagree with what your partner is saying or doing, you don't judge them or make them wrong, as asserted in research on the importance of feeling heard. The same goes the other way, and you feel open to communicating in a safe environment with them.
5. Are you growing in a positive direction?
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Your greatest growth opportunities happen in situations where you feel especially challenged. Soulmates will challenge each other's growth in a nurturing way.
6. Do you and your partner accept and love each other as is, while wanting the best for each other?
Feeling safe to open up and express your thoughts and feelings wholeheartedly creates a deep connection with the person you love deeply, as demonstrated by a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
7. Are you happy just sitting, doing nothing, and enjoying each other's company?
Research from Antioch University shows how we experience intimacy in the present moment, and being present as much as possible shows a deep connection.
8. Is there a mutual connection of mind, body, and soul?
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You have intense feelings for your person and are attracted and connected to them on the level of mind, body, and soul. You can talk for hours on end or not at all and still feel a deep sense of interconnectedness. The connection to your partner does not grow weak with distance or time. A soulmate is a person who will help you build a healthy life-long relationship.
Janet Ong Zimmerman is a dating and relationship coach and the founder of Love for Successful Women. She helps successful women find the love they desire.