Years of awkward dates, stunted relationships, and lost clients have taught me much about how to draw people to you by incorporating these tips into your relationships to make others fall for you using behaviors that often come naturally.
Here are 6 subtle behaviors that make people instantly fall in love with you:
1. Being present
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People will find it difficult to forget you when you do what most do not: be there with a person. Look at them in the eye without psycho staring, leave your phone alone, listen fully, and allow a kind of tension to build through your electric ‘being there.’
The beauty of this is there is little pressure on you to do or be anything, which calms you further. Bring the power of presence. Learning how to be present at the moment can help you destress and be happier, research from 2016 confirms.
2. Being courageous
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This requires care, but you will stand out if you can broach topics that most do not. Avoid religion, politics, and controversial stuff in most cases. I’m talking more about saying things that require some courage but ultimately serve all parties.
Say the hard thing. If it makes you a little nervous — this is the direction. Acknowledge the ‘elephant’ in the room. Be the guy who says what people are only thinking. People respect this a lot if it’s pulled off well. Over to you.
3. Being vulnerable
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People rarely bond with others with whom they cannot relate. If there is nothing to connect you, there will be no bond and certainly no attraction. A study from 2019 confirms that being vulnerable with our partners can increase levels of intimacy.
To reveal small details about aspects of you that aren’t immediately attractive IS attractive. How you were a shy kid, for example. This encourages others to be themselves and relax.
Don’t spend the whole conversation telling us about your root canal. Be sparing — this is enough to demonstrate your humanity. People love humans, not flawless, robotic beings.
4. Being young at heart
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Many of us developed a rigidity as we moved into adulthood. We took some hits in life and lost the playful cheekiness of youth. Your inner child is who you wish you could have been as a child, studies from 2016 confirm.
If you can loosen up and let your child come out to play at the right moments, people find this endearing. Tease, joke, point out the humorous side, and be silly. In an uptight world, this is highly refreshing.
5. Being confident
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Most people are wrapped up in their insecurities and operate on the assumption that respect and attraction from others take time and are earned. This needn’t be if you act like attraction is already there. Human behavior is mostly about perception.
So people tend to respond to how you act around them far more than other social cues. Behavior is the social status cue. Act as if you know they already like you, and — in many cases — they can’t help but like you.
This can be called 'faking it until you make it,' and research from 2022 confirms that it works. Your brain doesn't know the difference, so pretend that people like you, and they will.
6. Being comfortable in your own skin
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A surefire way to push someone away is by showing them you care about what happens in your meeting. If you’re on a date and are visibly frustrated when the object of your desire pokes fun, you lose.
You are comfortable in your skin and having others along for a ride is simply a bonus, NOT a necessity. If you NEED things to be a certain way, you will give off a neediness that is unattractive and weird. Being comfortable with yourself s the most attractive thing you can do, according to research published in The Society for Personality and Social Psychology.
Nothing should faze you. Your detachment in this way creates interest. And people will slowly fall in love with you.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
