Even when you've found a relationship you feel truly secure in, many of us have fears about falling out of love — and this visual personality test will help you understand yours.
Falling in love can make even the oldest person feel young again. It makes you feel like the world is full of magic and possibilities. And on the opposite end of that spectrum, falling out of love can feel as though the world has lost its luster, and feeling yourself move on from someone you once loved deeply can be incredibly challenging. You may not have the feelings for them that you once did, but the memory of those feelings remain, and those memories hurt.
Psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D. explains, "The eventuality of loss always exists when we feel love — either for a person, a thing, or an experience. This makes love all that much more precious. It’s a fragile, beautiful experience to be treasured. But sometimes people are overcome — even paralyzed — by the feared or expected pain associated with that loss."
"Once you clearly see what you are doing," she continues, "you can choose to open up to your emotions — the painful as well as the uplifting."
The image you see first in this visual personality test reveals what you secretly fear most about falling out of love.
Simply look at the picture below and make a mental note of the image you see first. Then, scroll down to find out what this personality test reveals about what scares you the most about falling out of love.
1. If you saw the bearded man first
If you saw the bearded man first when you looked at this image, your greatest secret fear about falling out of love is that you'll be alone forever. This is a normal and natural fear. Human beings aren't designed to spend their days all on their own, so of course the concern that you may never again fall in love is seriously scary.
Remember that finding a relationship is as easy as falling off a log, but if what you want is real love, take the time that is needed and don't compromise out of fear. You deserve the real thing, and you are absolutely capable of finding it.
2. If you saw the woman in white first
If you saw the woman in white first when you looked at this image, your secret fear about falling out of love is that you're just too selfish to ever maintain a relationship. You know that relationships are about give and take, but you worry that maybe you just aren't the type of person who has it in them to put someone else's needs above their own, and that this is the real reason you fall out of love.
Long story short, if you're worrying that you're too selfish, chances are you aren't. Sometimes people just fall out of love. It's just a thing that happens. But it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you, so try not to beat yourself up about this too much.
3. If you saw the mountains first
If you saw the mountains first when you looked at this image, your secret fear about falling out of love is that you'll never really connect with someone on more than a superficial level. When something as wonderful as love seems to almost "run out," it can be easy to begin feeling like the connection you felt when you first fell in love was never even real in the first place.
Just because a feeling doesn't last, that doesn't mean it was never genuine to begin with. People grow and change. It's what we do! Don't doubt yourself and your ability to share deep feelings with another person just because this love story didn't work out the way that you hoped.
4. If you saw the castle ruins first
If you saw the castle ruins first when you looked at this image, your secret fear about falling out of love is that movies and TV have spoiled real love for you. It might surprise even people who know you really well, but you have always had a soft spot for romantic films and shows of all kinds, even fairy tales and Disney cartoons.
You worry that your entire idea of what love should be like has been irreparably skewed as a result, and that you'll never find the sort of "love" you crave because it doesn't exist. Love is love, and when you feel it truly and deeply, you will know. That's not something even the best of movies can take away from you.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer, editor, former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek, and former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango. Her bylines have appeared on Fatherly, Bustle, SheKnows, Jezebel, and many others.
