You met a guy by chance and you were smitten with him. He was handsome, engaging, well-dressed, successful, and seemed emotionally stable. When you walked into the restaurant, his face lit up, he smiled warmly and hugged you.
Fifteen minutes into the date, you were already hoping he'd ask you for a second date. But not long into the date, he became withdrawn, his eyes glazed over and he started glancing at his watch. So, what happened? Why the sudden change in his attitude toward you?
Here are ten common reasons men don't invite women on a second date:
1. She was closed-minded
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Narrow-minded people come off as rigid, pretentious, and condescending. When you meet someone new, stay open to hearing his thoughts and opinions.
Validating his point of view in the conversation makes you look intriguing, so avoid debating with him. It's great to share your knowledge, but trying to one-up him makes you look arrogant, controlling, and difficult to get along with.
2. She hogged the conversation
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Monopolizing the evening by talking non-stop about yourself just makes you look self-absorbed and boring. Encourage your date to talk and listen to what he tells you. According to a study from 2014, men found women who were more responsive to them, showing that they were listening, as attractive.
3. She bored him
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On the other side of that extreme, don’t make your date carry the whole conversation either. If you're shy, just say so and he’ll probably help you out by guiding the conversation.
Stay informed about what's going on in the world, because if the only thing you read are your emails and social media, you may have difficulty contributing to a meaningful conversation.
4. She made the date feel like an interrogation
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Save your probing questions for a follow-up date. Don’t ask how many women he's slept with, does he has STDs, why he broke up with his girlfriend, or why he got a divorce. Don’t ask questions that ask about his income or possessions.
5. She talked about her ex too much
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A man doesn’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriend/husband/lover. It’s an indication that you’re living in the past and you’re not ready for a new relationship.
6. She appeared too eager
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Compliment him, but don’t over-compliment him. Don’t ask for his phone number, don't ask to Facebook him, don't insinuate a second date, and don't invite him over for dinner.
Also, nervous behavior makes you appear self-absorbed and insecure: Don't touch your face, twist your hair, laugh excitedly, boast, or prattle about yourself.
7. She had unrealistic expectations
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Don’t go on a date already hoping for a second date. Men have an innate radar for women who are needy and looking for a relationship.
They can sense if you're overly smitten with him, and men like a bit of chase. Let him wonder how much you really like him. According to a study from the University of Chicago, men really do like the thrill that comes with a chase.
8. She outwore her stay
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Don’t prolong the date with after-dinner cocktails or bar hopping. Don’t follow him home to listen to music and don’t invite him into your place for a nightcap. Just give him a goodnight kiss at the door and leave him wanting more.
9. She drank too much
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Too many martinis loosen your tongue and lower your inhibitions. If you can’t limit yourself to two drinks, don't drink.
10. She was intimate with him too soon
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I repeat — don’t invite him for a nightcap, don’t get into a make-out session, and don't be intimate with him on the first date — research from 2013 confirms it can lead to a relationship that doesn't go past casual.
If you crawl between the sheets with him on date number one, he may think you make a habit of this as well, even if you don't.
Nancy Nichols is a best-selling self-help, dating, and relationship author, empowerment speaker, notorious blogger, and TV and radio talk show personality. She's a woman's advocate who uses her self-help books to impart self-esteem building, the power of positive thought, relationship understanding, and personal healing.
