Do you ever feel uptight, nervous, or anxious around a particular man you’re attracted to and wish there was a way you could just relax and feel more confident?

What if you could walk into a room and completely take command of a man simply by the way you walk, stand, and carry yourself? Getting a man to notice you doesn't have to be difficult — it’s doable.

Here are four body language skills to master to instantly attract men:

1. Radiate positive energy

A woman who lights up a room with her radiance and energy. A woman who men gravitate toward and follow. A woman who always seems to have men following her, listening to her, and laughing with her.

She has a kind of natural charisma, or she’s been blessed with a great “look.” Everything seems to come easily to her. You don’t need to have natural charisma or be born with “model” looks to get what you want or to attract the man you want and have a great life. 

Dr. Charles Lindholm's comparison of social and psychological models of romance and charisma helps demonstrate how great charisma and radiant, magnetic energy are something you can learn.

2. Be authentically you

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You can have a natural, “organic” transformation through an easy, step-by-step process. It doesn’t have to feel fake, although most changes feel awkward at first, and that’s OK.

It’s not about contorting yourself to be someone you’re not. Research from San Francisco State University explains how it's about dropping the defenses and false beliefs you’ve been holding all your life and letting your true, natural power shine through.

3. Relax your lips

To demonstrate what I’m talking about, here’s just one basic tip about how to improve your confidence and energy by making just a small change in a certain facial muscle: Your lips. You may not have noticed this, but when you’re feeling tense or nervous, you press your lips together. Try it right now.

Think about a recent conversation or event that completely threw you off balance, angered you, or made you anxious. Like when he called to cancel a date you were looking forward to, or he turned his back on you when you needed to talk or vent.

Are you imagining something like that? Notice how your lips oh-so-slightly press together. They tense up, and your mouth looks smaller and tighter, as demonstrated by research from The International Journal of Humanities and Language Research.

Now, think about something sensual and relaxing. Get into the visual. Maybe you’re imagining petting your dog or cat. Maybe you’re imagining your man telling you he loves you, and he’s stroking your hair. How does that change the way your lips feel? Are they relaxed and slightly parted?

4. Tap into your softness

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When you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or tense, do something that feels counter-intuitive. Relax your lips and part them slightly. You’ll notice an immediate, simultaneous shift in your energy from tense to calm. 

But more importantly, this remarkable technique can also make you appear more relaxed and self-confident, even when you’re in a very tense situation, like on a date or having an emotional conversation with your boyfriend.

Dr. Chayan Jain explains how looking more self-confident and relaxed opens you up and sends the signal you’re open and vulnerable  —  which is an irresistible visual “signal” to a man.

Wouldn’t it feel so liberating to be able to attract a man simply by being yourself, simply by letting go of any negative thoughts or fears, and just relaxing into the most self-assured, positive, and magnetic you?

Isn’t that something? Any woman can learn how to become more attractive and magnetic simply by tapping into her natural inner beauty. Men are drawn and magnetized to a woman when she’s relaxed, vulnerable, soft on the outside, but strong on the inside.

Rori Raye is a relationship coach who's helped thousands of women transform their love lives.

This article was originally published at Have the Relationship You Want. Reprinted with permission from the author.