I was recently flying in first class when I realized the obvious: It’s mainly men in first class. Why is that? Because a man’s priority is a career and a woman’s priority is relationships. Women are programmed to put men at the top of the list. However, it’s time to turn off the autopilot and deal with reality.
Before divorce became socially acceptable, women could count on getting married and being taken care of for the rest of their lives. In an era with a roughly 50% chance of staying married, according to divorce statistics, it’s no longer acceptable or wise to count on a man to come along and “save” you.
The times in my life when I didn’t make men a priority were when I was doing something that I was passionate about. Those were the times when it didn’t matter if a guy called or if I hadn’t seen him for a week.
Yet, those were also the times when the guy moved towards me and was more interested in me because he could see he was not my main focus. I wasn’t playing hard to get, I was hard to get.
This hard-to-get attitude will attract men like bees to honey.
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Instead of wanting to talk about the relationship and where it’s going, talk about the new class you’re taking or the project you’re working on.
You then become more attractive because men will know you are not just looking for someone to pay the bills. Men admire women who have goals (other than marriage) and who are working towards making their lives richer on all levels — financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Men today say they want a woman who is independent. Most are not interested in a helpless little girl they have to take care of.
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In her book Why Men Love B****, author Sherry Argov says, “Men tend to approach love as though it’s a business-deal negotiation. Men usually label a weaker woman as a liability and a stronger woman as an asset. A strong woman has goals and won’t give herself away.
It’s time women made their careers/jobs/passions just as important as their romantic relationships. In doing so, you “kill two birds with one stone.” And it seems like women already are. According to one YouGov poll, 54% of American women aspire to have both a family and a career.
As you are moving towards your goals, you are also effortlessly becoming more attractive to men. Men get engaged to women who are already “engaged” — in interesting, happy lives.
Lucia is a dating and relationship expert and the author of Lucia's Lessons of Love. She has been featured on radio and TV Shows as an expert, including Dr. Phil, The CBS Early Show, and Good Day LA.
