No one needs to know you started pinning ideas for the wedding after your second date. Planning is a good thing!
Although money matters aren't nearly as fun as picking out the theme, the colors, the cake flavor, or the wedding gown, discussing your philosophies on budgeting is just as important as anything else you plan for your married life ahead.
An alarming number of couples eventually break up over money. (Don't be one of them!)
We've compiled a handy list of questions to help you discuss your personal financial history, your approach to money, and your hopes for the future related to money.
Here are five questions to ask about money before you get married:
1. How did your parents spend money?
A study from Virginia Tech found that "the nuanced ways in which parents socialize their children as competent consumers, and has implications for familial relationships and gender and class inequality in regards to family and consumer activities."
2. What mistakes have you made with money?
The result of an experiment published in The Journal of Risk and Uncertainty Jacobson shows how "those more likely to make mistakes, however, as they become more risk averse, they are less likely to belong to a savings group and more likely to take up informal credit, suggesting that mistakes correlate with less than optimal behavior."
3. Do you track your spending and savings?
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A study from Universiti Utara Malaysia shows "The benefits of mindful consumption, such as reduced financial stress, increased savings, and a more sustainable lifestyle.
Additionally, it examines practical strategies and tools that individuals can employ to cultivate mindful consumption habits and make informed financial choices."
4. What stresses you out when it comes to money?
An American Psychological Association study suggests, "one-third of Americans are living under extreme stress.
Family finances, money, and work continue to be the leading causes of stress for three-quarters of Americans, a dramatic increase over the 59% reporting the same sources of stress in 2006.
The survey also found that the housing crisis is affecting many, with half of the Americans (51%) citing rent or mortgage costs as sources of stress this decade."
5. What are your primary and secondary money personalities?
A meta-analysis of personality traits and earnings published in the Journal of Economic Psychology found a positive association between personal earnings and the traits of openness, conscientiousness, and extraversion, while simultaneously revealing a negative and significant association between earnings and the traits of agreeableness and neuroticism.
It doesn't have to be boring. On your next date night, make plans to meet somewhere new — a rooftop, the lake, the new lounge downtown — but take some time to hear what your significant other has to say about money.
You know you're curve-breakers. Understand how you both approach money and you will join the ranks of those happy couples who discuss, compromise, and agree on money matters.
The Money Couple helps others achieve financial freedom while putting family first. They offer services and resources to bring couples closer together, not only in their marriages but in their finances as well.