This question has been on my mind for quite some time, and I’ve recently asked several men, “What is attractive?” This is sort of like asking, “What is delicious?” or “What is quality?” It's all a matter of personal taste — there is no right or wrong answer.
How does a woman exude attraction to a man? Does she need the attributes of a supermodel? Surprisingly, the most common answers centered not on physical characteristics but rather on self-confidence and having a certain seductive look in the eye. There is much more to it than physical appearance.
Here are the 4 most attractive things a woman will ever do, according to men:
1. Give good eye contact
“I believe attraction is more than physical. It’s about every aspect of her person. When your eyes touch, and there’s a strong connection, it feels alluring. It only takes a moment to know you when you want someone.” — Dan.
This is so true! As the saying goes, your eyes are windows to your soul. When you lock eyes, you make room for a deep connection where communication goes beyond words or even body language, as shown in a meta-analysis published in Psychological Bulletin. You can project your thoughts, passions, and desires through your eyes.
It’s fairly easy to observe how a person is feeling and what their intentions are by the way they look at you. Facial expressions can be very telling, as we can discern emotional state and confidence level.
2. Have absolute self-assurance
“It’s alluring when a woman makes eye contact, offers genuine smiles, and embodies absolute self-assurance.” — Rick.
Whether it’s an alluring voice or a flirtatious smile, a certain scent, or how she moves, we can take pleasure in such qualities and find them attractive without needing to pursue any further thoughts or emotions about them.
Romantic allure may be observed and appreciated like good music or a piece of fine art, and it is the natural mode for attracting a mate.
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3. Be compatibly confident
"Attraction is a look in the eye. It is confidence, balanced with class.” — Jeff
This avid outdoorsman also mentioned that he finds it attractive when a woman isn’t afraid to get dirty. It shows she isn’t going to be demanding. He likes the smell of sweat and dirt on a woman who enjoys hiking, mountain biking, and camping.
When searching for compatibility in a mate, we are mostly drawn to others who have common interests and enjoy the same types of activities as we do. A study led by Dr. Steven Gangestad supports how we all have different standards for a desirable mate depending on what our priorities and personal preferences may be. We are all susceptible to certain physical and material traits that make some humans more desirable than others.
It’s completely natural to feel a visceral reaction when we observe someone attractive and charismatic, as it is a part of our biology to experience attraction. Studies published in the Social and Personality Psychology Compass have indicated certain characteristics stimulate a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which is followed by sensations such as elevated heart rate, perspiration, and a general feeling of arousal. These are natural processes and should be embraced.
4. Project attraction outwardly
“Attraction is a state of mind. If a woman loves herself, her style and body language reflect that, and she is projecting her authenticity, and I find that very appealing.” — Syd
While many consider someone like Kim Kardashian or *insert another well-known celebrity* as attractive, other women with similar physical traits may not be considered attractive at all.
Every day, we are bombarded with media images that try to ‘instruct’ us on what to like and dislike. B. Harper and M. Tiggemann's study explores how every time we turn on the TV or get on the internet, someone is trying to sell us a product or an idea. This is done both directly and indirectly. It’s no secret what sells products, and these cyber-tech hawkers try to appeal to the most primal human instinct using generic images they hope consumers will find attractive.
Some men may find a "damsel in distress" a bit of a turn-on, as it gives them a chance to be a hero. However, always having to rescue a helpless woman can get old and tiring and betrays a sense of ownership from the man. Most men recognize the value of independent and strong women — and find her sense of confidence and passion incredibly appealing.
The best way to look and feel attractive is to be on another level of self-assuredness and confidence. It’s not how big and colorful your tail feathers are, it’s how you shake them!
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Allura Joy works with women of all ages and diverse backgrounds offering guidance with relationships and intimacy, as well as providing valuable resources in the areas of women’s health and sexual wellness.
