There is a thin line between confidence and cockiness. Depressingly, many men in today's society maintain a certain bravado, making them all the more enticing.
Sadly, research says that many misguided women — more specifically, those who desire marriage — are falling for narcissistic men.
Carrie Haslam and Tamara Montrose of Hartpury College in England conducted a 2015 study featuring 146 women between the ages of 18 and 28. Seventy-six percent said they were looking to get married, while 24 percent did not want to get married.
The women were then asked to report how many men they had been involved with intimately in past years: 52 percent said they had zero to five previous partners, while 7.5 percent reported having 21 or more.
After that, the women were asked questions that correlated with attraction and narcissism. Each was instructed to rate the statements on a scale of one to five in an "agree/disagree" format, and some of the questions considered: “Confidence in a male is more alluring than modesty;” “Male vanity is an attractive attribute;” and “I am attracted to men who take pleasure in being the center of attention."
Narcissists are known to be alluring in the beginning; research from 2010 confirms that narcissists are extremely charming at first.
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While covert narcissistic qualities might appear charming at first, they're often very different when it's happening in a real relationship, so it's not evident right away that these are toxic qualities.
They found that women repeatedly pursued self-absorbed men after bad experiences. Although we typically equate this to youth and naivety, the study found that the more relationship experience these women gain, the more drawn to narcissistic behavior they become.
The study also showed that women who wished for marriage were more likely to answer positively to statements that were parallel to narcissistic traits, such as: "I am drawn to a man who displays authority" or "a man who uses manipulation to influence his success at work is attractive."
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The researchers found no significant differences in attraction to narcissistic men among women who reported having more or fewer romantic partners.
The only real distinction: Those who had been with more men, specifically with 21 or more past partners, were the most attracted to the narcissistic males, compared to those who had zero to 10 past partners.
What is the scientific reason for this? The results suggest male narcissists are seen as high-status figures with “the ability to acquire resources, and that they are entertaining and self-assured. These traits are attractive to females in relationship contexts,” the researchers write. Sheesh, as if jerks weren't hard enough to shake without science getting involved.
If you think you may be experiencing depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, you are not alone. If you feel as though you may be in danger, there is support available 24/7/365 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233. If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.
Nicole Weaver is a senior writer for Showbiz Cheat Sheet whose work has been featured in New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Psych Central, Popsugar, Yahoo, Huffington Post, MSN, Collider, and more.