We tend to fall in love without thinking. After all, isn't that what love is all about, thinking with your head over your heart? So if love is in the heart, how can you know when your relationship is less than healthy?

So, what describes a healthy relationship? Communication, commitment, a shared vision, attention, intention, and trust. Former Senior VP of Experts Melanie Gorman, with the help of YourTango Experts Richard Drobnick, Lesli Doares, Paula Bisacre, and Carolyn Meyer-Wartels, talk about the health of relationships. 

Here are the signs you're in a healthy relationship, according to renowned love experts: 

1. You can be yourself

You want to be yourself and you want to be your best self. So, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are welcomed even if somebody disagrees. You never feel like you have to stop being who you are to please the other person.

2. You communicate openly

You feel safe and hopeful you will communicate, be heard, and not feel frustrated. You want to share who you are with all the porcupine prickles, the good, the bad, the ugly, and feel you're accepted. You have fun and find pleasure as well as you argue and repair.

In a healthy relationship, you mustn't self-edit or withhold particular information from your partner. If you can't say it to your partner because it will upset them, that's not healthy. Valuing the differences and understanding how to make them work for you is healthy, as demonstrated in a study on conflict resolution and relationship quality.

Josep Suria

3. You prepare and educate yourself

You have to prepare yourself for a healthy relationship. You must work through the baggage that probably sprouted up in your childhood. There's a lot to be said about relationship education. We're very good at taking classes for our careers, cooking, hobbies, sports, and childbirth but how many of us take relationship education classes?

4. There is closeness

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In a healthy relationship, people are usually physically intimate but if both people are OK with not being intimate, that's fine. However, if one person wants physical intimacy and one person doesn't, it is indicative of something wrong and a question of seeking help through a therapist or a medical doctor. 

Research on oxytocin and interpersonal relationships helps demonstrate how intimacy and closeness release oxytocin and bring people closer. For real intimacy, you need good communication and a willingness to look into the relationship's life.

Take the closest couple you know. If they're not talking and not dealing with issues, it usually means they're not being intimate. A 2010 study from Governors State University helps us understand how the media, movies, TV, and books give us an unrealistic image of what a relationship should be. We see glorified relationships in the early stages but rarely see the preparation before or the hard work after that is required for any relationship to exist.

It's never too late to work on your relationship. You're not the same person you were when the relationship began. We made mistakes in the past but that doesn't mean we can't seek relationship education today. Check out the full video featuring all of the relationship experts below.

YourTango brings our community of readers, writers, thought leaders, and the world’s leading relationship and mental health experts together to connect and engage where it matters most: the heart.