You know he wants you. He can't keep his hands off of you and he's trying to tear your clothes off. You're usually flattered by this, but maybe you're looking for more than just a physical relationship.
However, you've been down this road before and you know that tearing your clothes off doesn't lead to commitment, in fact, it usually leads to the guy never calling again. Before you decide "What the heck, what's one more hay-ride?" I want to suggest that you use the one secret word that makes a man commit fast.
Now, I'm not saying that you're not going to meet resistance. You have to be comfortable with that. Furthermore, you also have to use this word at the right time.
So, when is the right time? The right time is when he wants to be intimate with you. I'm going to be specific here because if you're just making out, that's not the right time.
Once he wants to be intimate with you, you're ready for the magic word.
The secret word that makes men commit almost instantly is until.
You may ask, "Until? James, until what?" Well, that depends on where you're at.
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For example, let's say you just met a cute guy at the club. You've been dancing all night and he wants to go home with you. You're making out in the car when he invites you to the proverbial your place or mine.
That's when 'until' comes in. For example: "I like you and appreciate you inviting me to your place or mine. However, I don't feel comfortable doing that until I get to know you better. What do you think?"
The use of the word 'until' allows you to get him to wait for you and let a man know that you like him.
It also suggests you have boundaries and requirements, and what those boundaries and requirements are. A man commits fast when he realizes he cares about how you feel, respects what you think, and is willing to negotiate with you. 'Until' allows you to set a standard that he can commit to.
It takes you out of the category of a hookup and into the category of a serious relationship. Having standards while dating can help you have a future healthy relationship, research from 2019 confirms.
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Once a man agrees to take the time to get to know you, he's on his way to being committed to you ... fast.
And if he chooses not to, then you can rest assured and know that this isn't the type of man you want to be in a committed relationship with. According to the Pew Research Center, most men also prefer to wait to be intimate in a relationship.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of A Life of Love and Dating Advice for Alpha Women.