Mr. Right, Prince Charming, your soulmate ... whatever you call him, finding the right man is no easy task. It can be even harder once you've found him and started wondering, "Is he the one?" Regardless of how you approach finding the right man, my dating advice is to not get lost in the process of wondering whether he is "the one." Sometimes women are so busy qualifying a guy against their complex criteria, that they overlook all the good that exists in the relationship.
That's okay. It's a natural (and necessary) part of any selection process, but it can also overshadow all the good in him that you might be taking for granted. So, I'm cautioning you — make sure you don't miss out on a wonderful man because you're too focused on disqualifying him. Keep your eyes (and heart) open to notice where the men you date excel.
Here are twelve unmistakable traits of a man genuinely in love:
1. He makes you smile and laugh
Jonathan Borba | Pexels
Never underestimate the power of humor to bring two people together. If he makes you laugh, that ability will come in handy when you eventually hit rough spots in life.
2016 research suggests that when someone actively tries to make you laugh and smile, it can be a strong indicator of affection and potential love, as it demonstrates a desire to bring you joy, build a positive connection, and foster intimacy within the relationship. Essentially, it shows they are invested in your happiness and well-being.
2. He remembers things you say
Antoni Shkraba | Pexels
A thoughtful man lets you know how much he cares by the little things he does for you. He listens to the little hints you drop or dreams you share and then he strives to make them a reality.
Whether it's picking up the ice cream you're craving or surprising you with the trip to Paris you've always dreamed of. He listens and takes action to make sure you feel cherished.
When someone remembers what you say and acts on it, it signifies a high level of attention, care, and emotional investment, which are critical components of love. Essentially, 2014 research found that it shows they value your words and are actively working to integrate them into their actions, demonstrating a genuine desire to meet your needs and prioritize your well-being.
3. He's a supportive friend
Josh Willink | Pexels
If he's got your back, that's a sure sign you have a solid foundation for a strong relationship. His support helps you feel safe and bolsters your confidence during challenging times.
4. He keeps his word
Fernanda Latronico | Pexels
A man who keeps his word is a man you can count on and trust. Think long and hard before you dump a genuinely trustworthy guy.
Research from a 2011 American Psychological Association (APA) study found that when a man keeps his word, it demonstrates a high level of commitment, trust, and respect towards you, essentially showing that he values your relationship and prioritizes your well-being by following through on his promises. His actions align with his words, indicating genuine care for your feelings and needs.
5. He inspires you to be your best self
Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock
If he encourages you to be your best self (intelligent, light-hearted, etc.), that has tremendous value and means he is good for your self-esteem ... and your soul.
6. You learn new things with him
Arina Krasnikova | Pexels
While you have your interests, this guy introduces you to a world of wonderful new things. He shares his knowledge happily (without patronizing you), and this is a great quality.
One study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2000 discovered that couples who participated in “novel” and “arousing” activities reported improved relationship quality and increased passion for one another.
7. He accepts you as you are
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
That ease you feel with him? That's called "acceptance." When you feel accepted, you know deep down that he loves you just the way you are. True love blossoms best in a "no judgment" zone.
Findings from a 2023 study suggest that being accepted as you are is a crucial indicator of love because it signifies a deep level of understanding, vulnerability, and unconditional affection, where a partner embraces your flaws and imperfections alongside your strengths, creating a foundation of trust and intimacy within the relationship.
8. He's fun to hang out with
Arina Krasnikova | Pexels
The two of you have such a good time together. You could have fun being out and social, engaging in an activity, or doing absolutely nothing at all. Life is challenging, so a partner who lifts your spirits and helps you lighten up is a definite keeper.
9. He will work through any problems in the relationship
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
Issues crop up in even the best relationships. That's why his willingness to talk things over and find a mutually agreeable solution is a very good sign.
Research from The Gottman Institute suggests that a man being willing to discuss problems with you openly signifies a deep level of trust and vulnerability, which are vital indicators of love, as it demonstrates a desire for intimacy, a willingness to be open and dependent on you for support, and a commitment to working through challenges together.
10. He is proud of you
Anzel Naude | Pexels
He beams love when you tell him about your latest accomplishment and he happily shares your good news with others. That is love.
When someone expresses pride in your accomplishments and who you are, it can be interpreted as a sign of love because it demonstrates a deep level of respect, admiration, and a desire to be connected to your positive qualities, essentially signifying that they value you as a person and want to see you succeed. According to an APA study, this goes beyond just liking what you do and extends to actively supporting and celebrating your identity.
11. He positively adds to your life
Karkhut | Shutterstock
This man enhances your life and you feel your world is so much better with him in it. His presence feels enlivening, not smothering. That's a surefire signal he's good for you.
2011 research suggests that actively adding joy to your life, especially when in a relationship, can be interpreted as a sign of love because it demonstrates a positive outlook, a willingness to invest in your well-being, and a capacity to share that positivity with your partner, which ultimately strengthens the bond and creates a more fulfilling relationship. Essentially, you become a more attractive and supportive partner by being happy and actively pursuing joy, signifying more profound love and commitment.
12. He gets along with friends and family
Studio Romantic | Shutterstock
Everyone you introduce him to sees what you see–a truly good man who cares about you. It's hard not to adore a man who lights you up inside. When the people who know and love you best give your man a solid thumbs up, that's a guy worth keeping around.
Research published by Oxford University shows that getting along with friends and family is a strong indicator of love because it demonstrates a person's willingness to invest in positive relationships, prioritize well-being, and actively build a supportive network around them. These are all critical components of genuine affection and care. Essentially, trying to maintain positive bonds with your loved ones signifies that they value your happiness and place importance on the connections you share.
It's most important to stay objective, to avoid getting attached too quickly. I'm a big fan of dating multiple guys until you get to exclusivity with one. Keep all your options open ... that's just smart dating.
This way you'll spend enough time with a man to know he's truly worth releasing your other suitors. The problem is, when trying to determine which man is best, women typically focus on the negative. You look for all the things he's notdoing and how he doesn't measure up, so you can move on if needed.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is a love and dating coach who has shared her sound advice and practical magic for mindful dating, love, and life with thousands of successful single women.
