When partners show up for us — physically and emotionally — and embody the basic tenants of a good relationship like communication, loyalty, and empathy, our authentic lives flourish. A study from the Social Science & Medicine journal found that our healthy romantic connections in life genuinely have the power to transform our mental and emotional health in both positive and negative ways.
There are certain types of women who make very good partners in their relationships, embodying passions, traits, and life experiences that set them up to be grounded and supportive equals in their bonds.
Here are the 12 types of women who make very good partners
1. Confident and self-assured women
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Self-assuredness isn’t just a pillar of keeping a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s also fundamental to navigating interpersonal relationships — it’s what helps people to communicate their boundaries, protect their energy, and genuinely support other partners and friends without judgment or unnecessary resentment.
While this confidence is systemically weaponized against women in other realms of their professional and social lives, like the Harvard Business Review explains, their ability to sustain it in a romantic relationship can be incredibly beneficial to its longevity and health.
2. Women with strong boundaries
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Relationship coach Susan J. Elliott argues that healthy boundaries help to weed out the toxic people in your life. Not only are you more self-assured about where you stand, other people have a good sense of what you need and what you’ll tolerate — something healthy partners are always grateful for.
The types of women who make very good partners are also cognizant of toxic behaviors and relationships before they become emotionally abusive — they have the self-awareness to recognize when someone isn’t fulfilling or adding value to their lives, and can use these strong boundaries to redirect that energy.
3. Women who openly communicate
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Women who make great partners recognize that open communication is a hallmark of healthy relationships, but it’s not just honest conversation and vulnerability within their partnerships that’s important, according to the book “Socioemotional Development,” it’s also how they speak about their attachments.
Unlike insecure attachments that are characterized by ignorance and general defensiveness, partners in secure and healthy relationships are arguably more self-aware when they’re painting the picture of their own romantic lives. They can take a step back, rely on their inner circles and support systems, and consider their relationships from the bigger picture — a practice that’s not just healthy, but gratifying.
4. Self-aware women
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Navigating a relationship, founded on honesty and open communication, is nearly impossible without basic self-awareness, understanding, and compassion. How can you communicate what you need to a partner if you don’t even know what that is? How can you criticize a relationship that’s fumbling to fulfill both partners without any real guidelines for what each partner needs?
According to experts from Perth Counseling and Psychotherapy, self-aware women and partners aren’t just cultivating stronger connections, they’re also developing better relationships with themselves. Growing their decision-making skills, communication, and self-esteem, self-awareness sets the stage for us to show up better for ourselves and the people around us.
5. Women with passionate interests and hobbies
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Relationship therapist Stephen J. Betchen reveals that partners with shared interests tend to have healthier relationships in general, but that doesn’t take away from the importance of personal hobbies, interests, and passions. When you’re always considering your partner, spending all your time with them, and only indulging in personal interests in their company, you open the door to co-dependency that’s intrinsically related to self-worth.
The types of women who make very good partners are cognizant of this harmful tendency, and make sure to carve out space for their own careers, interests, and passion projects, outside of their relationships. By investing time into their own passions, like psychologist Dr. Alison Block states, they feed into personal self-worth that’s essential for a healthy partnership with others.
6. Women with great friends and support systems
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According to psychologist Timothy J. Legg, people who rely completely on a partner for emotional support tend to spark emotional distress, disconnect, and resentment in their relationships. Instead, providing that support for themselves, or better yet, cultivating healthy friendships, family dynamics, and inner circles of support can help them flourish in all their connections without codependency tendencies with a partner.
It’s not just romantic relationships that benefit from female friendships and support circles in women’s lives, it’s also their general emotional and physical wellbeing. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, women with early on-stage breast cancer were four times more likely to pass away when they didn’t have many friends.
7. Intuitive women
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Intuitive women, who both pick up on other people’s negative energy and recognize energetic shifts in their relationships, make very good partners — not just because they can look out for their own wellbeing, but because they can empathetically respond to shifting emotional needs in their relationships.
They have a sense of “what’s going on and why,” according to life coach Jean Walters, that introduces an innate sense of self-assuredness and peace into their daily lives.
8. Empathetic women
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While there’s a fine line between healthy empathy and people pleasing behaviors, the types of women who make very good partners find the perfect balance. Equally emotionally intelligent, remaining cognizant of their own emotional needs, and empathetic towards their partner’s needs, they ensure everyone is supported, even in tumultuous times.
Coupled with communication, their empathetic touches to relationships add value to everyone’s lives, especially consider everyone’s definition of empathy is widely different in their daily lives, according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
9. Women who value their independence
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While research on hetero-relationships, like one study from the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explains, tend to highlight the tendency for men to only desire an intelligent and independent woman in theory, the healthiest partners are the most self-assured ones. Independent women have a healthy foundation for relationships — they have their lives centered around themselves, passions that fulfill them, and an innate sense of security that’s not intrinsically tied to their partner or a relationship.
With this self-awareness and confidence, they can ensure they’re advocating for their own needs in a relationship — perfecting a balance that’s mutually beneficial for everyone involved.
10. Reliable women
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Reliability, like trust or communication, is necessary in a healthy relationship. Without it, resentment stirs, founded on the disappointment experienced by a partner with unmeet needs and expectations in their relationships.
Reliable women, who ensure they keep their promises and physically show up to support their partners, always make room for maintaining an emotional balance in their relationships — even in seemingly miniscule ways like committing to a routine or making their partner tea at the end of a long day.
11. Women who prioritize reflection after a relationship ends
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According to the Cleveland Clinic, the healthiest partners in relationships take the time to self-reflect when one of their relationships ends, before jumping into a new one. Even when they’re in a new relationship, they continue to leave the door open for self-reflection — making space for mistakes, vulnerabilities, and growth.
Sometimes, this self-reflection also applies to unresolved childhood trauma. Are you cognizant of how unmet needs in your childhood are affecting your current relationships? Have you healed or made steps toward healing from your relationship with a parent before bringing unhealthy coping mechanisms into a new romantic relationship?
12. Women who commit to active listening
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Even in passive interactions and conversations with strangers, active listening can help people to feel more understood, according to a study conducted by the International Journal of Listening. When a loving partner is committed to practicing active listening in their own relationships, especially during conflicts or arguments, they ensure their partners feel that same sense of understanding.
Open communication is impossible without active listening and the types of women who make very good partners commit to practicing and instilling the behavior in all their conversations.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
