Getting a man to be attracted to you is easier than it may seem. Most guys will be interested in a girl as long as she’s average in terms of looks. However, keeping a guy attracted to you can be way more difficult.
This is especially true when you think about all the bad advice and bad habits girls pick up from bad dating advice sites or just plain terrible social skills. Sometimes, the things we think will be great with guys drive them away.
Here are 12 subtle signs a woman is not 'wife material' from the start, according to psychology
1. She uses a baby voice
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Ever notice how many guys cringe when they hear a girl talking in a baby voice? If you haven’t, you might want to take a look. It’s painful. While we may think it’s cute, most guys just assume that it’s something slightly annoying or even a bit creepy to hear a girl talk like this. In fact, very few people enjoy when adults use baby talk, one 2024 survey from Preply found.
2. She plays dumb
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This is a very bad move on so many levels. At best, you’re boosting the ego of a guy who is too insecure to handle your true smart self. While one study from 2015 found that men like smart women, they're also a little intimidated by them.
Find the ones who aren't. You’re making yourself look purposely less intelligent in front of a smart man who will lose interest in you because of the put-upon way you’re acting. Being smart is a plus!
3. She throws tantrums
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You know how some girls think it’s cute to pout, whine, and stomp their feet angrily when they don’t get their way? Yeah, guys hate that. It’s not cute, and it makes you look immature and childish.
4. She excessively takes selfies
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Just because you jut your lips out to look cute on Instagram doesn’t mean guys will be into it. Most of the time, if you rehearse that same facial pose, guys will pick up on it.
Though it may make you attractive for a fling, most guys I’ve met have voiced that they want someone who appears more genuine for the long term. Being authentic is your best bet, with one study from 2015 stating how important authenticity is when dating.
5. She doesn't have an opinion on anything
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Most women assume that guys don’t want to be with a girl who has too many opinions or is too bossy, but the fact is that they’d rather have a bossy girl than a doormat. No one, whether male or female, enjoys the company of a person without a spine.
6. She pouts
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Guys are not mind-readers, don't say everything is 'fine' if it's not. They are not Miss Cleo, nor will they be able to get their own TV show as John Edward did. You can’t expect them to realize what they did wrong if you don’t tell them, even if it’s glaringly obvious to you.
Communication, as research from 2021 explicitly confirms, is the heart of a relationship. You must communicate when something is wrong.
7. She plays hard to get
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Most guys I know can’t stand this game, and if they think that the girl is too unavailable, they’ll stop texting her. Though they don’t want someone with no life of their own, they do want someone who makes time for them.
If you act unavailable, guys will get annoyed and go away. One 2018 study, in fact, shows that playing hard to get while dating doesn't win you any dates.
8. She's mean to other women
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Nothing is quite as gross as seeing someone who really, truly can’t be happy for others. Being a member of the “mean girls” club may seem like a good way to show that you’re better than them, but guys tend to find manipulative, mean, or otherwise insecure behavior a major turn-off.
Seeing this behavior is often a major reason why guys won’t commit to a girl. After all, if you can be that cruel to others, who’s to say you won’t eventually turn on him?
Women are usually mean to other women because they view them as competition, research from 2012 found. Don't view other women as opponents in the game of male attention, it never gets you anywhere.
9. She's a 'woo' girl
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Back in the 90s and early 2000s, MTV used to make a point of getting girls to start cheering with a loud “WOO!” during their hit show, TRL. This somehow turned into a weird party culture thing that thankfully petered out about ten years ago.
Before that, at almost any club you’d go to, you’d see a “woo girl.” These girls would be the ones who would get drunk to the point of puking, screaming “woo," and just being messy. One poll conducted by the dating app Flirtini found that 1 in 4 men won't go on a second date with a girl if she got too drunk on the first one.
10. She rants about how evil men are
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Speaking as someone who is regularly guilty of manhating spiels, I can understand how men can hurt a girl to the point that she sees them as an enemy rather than a potential suitor. However, if you’re trying to attract a man, telling them how weak and worthless their gender is probably isn’t a good idea. My best advice to you is to just avoid men if you’re going to be this hostile — it’s neither fair to you nor them.
11. She pulls a bait and switch
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A lot of people, both male and female, will pretend to be someone they’re not just so that they can keep someone around. Unfortunately, that mask these people put on will fall off one of these days, and that will leave their partners horrified, tricked, and hurt when they do.
Don’t be a bait-and-switch unless you want to give him permanent trauma. It's the biggest cliche, but being yourself on dates will get you a lot farther, research from 2010 confirms.
12. She publicly embarrasses her partner
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Nobody wants to be with a partner that will embarrass them or potentially call them up to bail them out of jail. If you act like a hot mess, you will make men run away faster than Usain Bolt from the starting line. People want to feel safe and stable in their relationships, a study from Ohio State University confirmed.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
