In an expansive relationship survey of more than 100,000 people, researchers asked couples to rate their happiness and satisfaction. They then dug deep to find out what the happiest couples have in common. The research, released in the 2013 bestseller "The Normal Bar," is a fantastic guide to what makes happy couples tick.

This commonality has nothing to do with body shape or frequency of intimacy. It is a very easy thing to add to your relationship to improve your happiness and deepen your intimacy. Ready for the big secret?

74% of the 'extremely happy couples' had one thing in common: they gave each other back massages.

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Giving each other massages can improve your relationship.

That's right, almost three-quarters of the couples who were extremely happy regularly gave back massages to each other. As intimacy educators, we focus as much on massage as we do on foreplay techniques and other skills. 

That is because we know how important massage is to a relationship. We believe that if you are going to learn one skill to improve your relationship and have a better intimate life, full body massage is the best skill to learn.

Why does something as simple as a back massage make such a difference in your relationship? First, massage is love in action. When your partner spends their time and attention focused on giving you the pure pleasure of massage, you feel loved and cared for. Nothing brings a couple closer together than a regular practice of lavishing one another with a skilled, pleasurable touch.

In 2017, a group of researchers enrolled 19 couples in a 3-week massage course and presented their findings at the British Psychological Society’s Annual Conference. The couples reported that "their physical and emotional well-being significantly improved following the completion of each massage session," whether they gave or received the massage. 

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Massages reduce stress.

The second reason massage is great in relationships is that it helps relieve stress. That's exactly why 51% of people who got a massage in 2023 did so, according to the American Massage Therapy Association. Plus: it's an easy and effective way to show each other affection.

Stress is the enemy of your intimate life. Stress kills your libido, drains your energy, and ultimately makes you miserable. Sharing a massage with your lover is an effective and efficient way to destress at the end of your day while spending quality time together. Less stress means more pleasure and a better intimate life.

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Finally, back massage is one of the most luxurious and pleasurable experiences of full-body touch.

Research shows that the skin-on-skin contact of a massage releases oxytocin, otherwise known as the "love hormone." This hormone positively affects your mood and relationship, boosting your overall wellness, relaxation, and trust.

Back massage brings health and joy into your daily life together. Imagine being able to afford to go to the spa three times a week for a great massage. Do you think you'd be happier and healthier? 

Now imagine getting the same quality massage from your lover at home anytime you wish. What could be better?

Sharing a massage with your lover doesn't have to be hard. You don't need to set aside an hour at a time or buy any expensive equipment. Simply commit to learning a few massage techniques and let your instinct take over.

The Pleasure Mechanics is a two-woman team of intimacy educators and touch experts (named Charlotte and Chris) dedicated to providing men, women, and couples around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum pleasure.