Many women wondering how to be happy — or at least happier — think finding their ideal guy, falling in love, and beginning a long-term relationship is the best chance they have.
Unfortunately, if you believe your future happiness depends on successfully figuring out how to get a guy to fall in love with you, you could be setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. Instead, we can look to the women who seem to be in happy, healthy and mutually-fulfilling relationships to see how they got there.
Four timeless traits of women who always seem to be in great relationships
1. They take responsibility for creating their own happiness
Happiness comes when you make an active decision to be positive about life, regardless of the never-ending ups and downs. When you place the responsibility for your happiness on someone other than yourself, you are likely to make yourself feel even more insecure and lonely than ever before, as supported by a study in the Science of Subjective Well-Being Journal.
2. They find — and appreciate— the positives
Doing something as simple as stopping to watch a beautiful sunset or taking a quick walk along a beach when the weather is just right can uplift your spirits. In those moments when life is at its most challenging and disappointing, a distraction helps.
3. They know happiness attracts potential partners
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When you are happy and positive, you are more likely to attract that desired special someone you’d love to have in your life. When you act sad or mope around, there's less chance someone will even try talking to you, let alone ask you out, because they're likely to think this must not be a good time for them to do so.
4. They understand smiling is a great start to meeting the right person
Not only does the act of smiling lift our spirits, but it's also catching!
And if that isn't enough of a reason for you, research published in Neuropsychologia Journal has found that people are perceived as healthier when they are smiling as compared to a neutral expression.
There are tremendous benefits that come with finding authentic happiness on your own.
As someone who appreciates the importance of feeling happy, both personally and professionally, I've had the good fortune to attend several Happiness and Its Causes conferences held annually in Australia. Speakers from widely diverse backgrounds, ranging from Tibetan lamas to academic scientists, provide a convincing case for staying positive no matter how challenging the circumstances.
At one of the most recent of these events, we were presented with the findings of research conducted in the U.S. by psychologists Lyubomirsky, King, and Diener, which provides a convincing explanation of the many benefits of looking on the sunny side of life, no matter how gray the day. Based on their outcomes, it seems that being happy not only enhances our chances of attracting a loving partner but also of keeping them!
According to their research, happy people:
- Are more productive at work and more creative
- Make more money and have superior jobs
- Are better leaders and negotiators
- Are more likely to marry and have fulfilling marriages and less likely to divorce
- Have more friends and social support
- Have stronger immune systems, are physically healthier, and even live longer
- Are more helpful and philanthropic
- Cope better with stress and trauma
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There is so much more in life to enjoy that you probably are not experiencing as you wonder how and when you'll ever meet your soulmate.
It is unlikely you will ever do so sitting around waiting for "happily ever after" to come knocking on your door or sliding into your DMs. Even worse, this belief might limit your chances of ever enjoying the love you seek.
Yes, really!
Many people believe they aren't complete unless they're in a romantic relationship with someone. But then, the relationships they find don't go anywhere, or they keep attracting the same type of person who isn't a healthy choice for them.
Then, once each new relationship ends, the entire cycle starts again, and it becomes exhausting.
You end up feeling a bit like a damsel in distress, waiting around for love to find you and help you out of your rut. But this way of thinking isn't going to help you find your soulmate or make you feel better about yourself in the interim.
That said, you can be proactive about dating in ways that lead to finding the right kind of person who authentically connects with you and adds to the joy and happiness in your already full life. So turn that frown upside down!
Taking a positive approach to life, regardless of the challenges we all face, is likely to not only help boost your health, wealth, and happiness but also increase your chances of finding and keeping love!
Win-win all around!
Yvonne Allen is an author, public speaker, and international relationship expert who is also a well-known media consultant.
