How often do we hear our friends complaining about their partner? And, more importantly, how often do we do the same ourselves?
Frustration about "not what I hoped it would be" relationship issues dominates our news feed, backed by a ton of "hang in there" empowerment quotes designed to keep you hopeful that all will get better. But even with all of those "you deserve happiness" good vibes floating around, many people still struggle to find their way out of bad relationships and into good ones.
The sad reality is many people feel doomed to failure that a loving relationship is outside of their grasp, and somehow, they're meant to live life in either sub-par relationships or completely alone.
Here are 5 powerful ways to turn the man you're with into your soulmate, according to psychology:
1. Recognize how good you have it
But here is a new idea to consider — you might already be in a good relationship, you just don't realize how good you have it, as supported in Robin A. Barry's research on disengagement in romantic relationships.
Perhaps this stems from holding our partner up to unrealistic standards. Or, maybe all of those "you go, girl" memes make us expect super-human perfection from our partners.
What about the endless search for a "soulmate"? Has chasing this ideal caused us to criticize an otherwise good relationship simply because it's not quite perfect? Maybe so.
In her latest book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate, best-selling author Arielle Ford shares her advice on how to bring a struggling relationship back from the brink.
2. View your relationship with hope
From her perspective, seeing your relationship in a hopeful light requires a bit of an attitude shift, as described by a study in the Mindfulness Journal. In other words, you have to want to see the best in your beloved to see it. From there, anything is possible.
Arielle believes strongly that soulmates are a real thing. But there are some caveats.
Hrecheniuk Oleksii via Shutterstock
3. Remember, no one is perfect
A soulmate is not perfect. They are human, just like everyone else. They let you down, they're late for carpool, they forget to pick up milk on the way home, and they are human, fallible, vulnerable, and real.
4. Take off the pressure off the relationship
Don't view your current partner as your soulmate? Perhaps that's because of the pressure the word inspires. To truly step into the agreements that exist between life partners, a little less pressure would be hugely helpful.
To that end, a study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggests a more authentic definition of a 'soulmate' works better: "Someone you can completely be yourself with, someone you share unconditional love with, and when you look into their eyes, you have the experience of being home."
5. Accept that even a soulmate will make a mistake
No need for perfection or magic. No implications that the person can't have a bad day, lose their temper occasionally, or make a poor decision. In the video above, Arielle suggests we love unconditionally, flaws and all.
From that place, finding a way to fall in love again with the one you're with is always possible because you start viewing your relationship (and him) from a mindset of hope, not from disappointment.
If you want to move your lackluster relationship from good to great, watch Arielle's powerful video above for quick ways to start seeing your current partner as the soulmate you've always wanted.
Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of 10 books including the international bestseller, The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction.
Melanie Gorman, MA, is a writer and business coach who holds a Masters degree in counseling psychology.
