Travel with a sweetheart always sounds rosy and romantic, but the truth is, trading in your king bed at home for a hotel queen, picking where to dine, and deciding who is getting up early to help the kids can all wreak havoc on your idyllic getaway.
Here are 9 signs you and your partner are genuinely compatible travel partners:
1. Your clocks are synchronized
Everyone has a different internal clock, as demonstrated in 2003 research. On vacation, it's important to match up activities with times when you have the stamina to do them.
Ask yourself: Which time of day is each of your high-focus times? Do you thrive before noon? Does your partner need an afternoon nap? Do you like to sleep late and party till dawn? Do they turn into a pumpkin at midnight? Talk about what will be the most refreshing for you both, and plan so you both get what you need.
2. You have a similar balance of planning and flexibility
CarlosBarquero via Shutterstock
How many times will you have fine dining? Will you picnic? What is your ideal? What is theirs? Plan for specific things and leave the rest to the natural unfolding of the vacation. Sharing your expectations will make adjusting easier on the trip.
3. You understand the value of doing your own thing
Opposite shopping styles can be frustrating to all. If you are a browser and he is a buyer, it is a problem. Minimize the amount of time you spend doing incongruous activities.
While it's good to be together, if your browsing makes them grumpy, perhaps you can speed things up and take an afternoon alone to really "get your browse on" while they do something more to their liking.
4. You handle travel disruptions similarly
A clinical examination in The British Journal of Psychiatry helps explain how irritability in even the most loving couples can run high when traveling due to extra stress and confined areas — car, train, stateroom, or plane. Arrange for some alone time every day so you can get some space.
5. You have similar sleep arrangements
If one of you is a snorer or you are used to sleeping separately, sleep arrangements should be thought out in advance, especially if your trip spans more than two nights. Arguments over the expense of hotel rooms are common, but remember that sleep deprivation can breed nastiness, as demonstrated in a 2023 study.
Make sure you don't sacrifice too much nighttime comfort to save a few dollars — it will backfire tenfold and won't be worth it. If your honey starts snapping at you due to sleep issues, be compassionate.
If two separate beds and earplugs or a white noise machine won't handle the issue, book a suite if you can manage it. If children waking at night is the issue, take turns getting up with them.
6. You know how to compromise
Olena Yakobchuk via Shutterstock
If you're not careful, angry words often fly when one partner feels obligated to please, and the other partner disagrees with the plan.
If that happens, let your partner know you understand their feelings and try not to judge them. Keep breathing, discuss the topic rationally, and be willing to compromise in a big way, as supported by a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. When a person feels heard and understood, they are much more likely to hear you, too.
7. You have similar expectations
Everyone enters a vacation with grand thoughts of how they're going to "feel" on the trip and when it ends. Talk about those expectations before you step on the plane and figure out where your thinking meets up, and what adjustments to make, so you both get the vacation you want.
8. You have similar budgets
The root of so many problems doesn't cease to be an issue when you're traveling and it can get worse. Before you book a flight or rent a car, sit down with your sweetie and have a talk about your vacation budget.
Do you have the funds outright to take the trip? Are you OK incurring a little debt so you have a great time? Can you agree on what you want to spend, who is paying, and what kind of "mad money" you'll have on the road? Talking this through before you go will save hours of headaches when you return, and your next credit card bill comes in!
9. You have a shared sense of humor
CarlosBarquero via Shutterstock
The sad fact is all good things come to an end, and your vacation will, too. Be prepared for the feelings that come up on the trip as you anticipate returning to work, responsibilities, schedules, and other people.
If you sense your disappointment rising or notice it happening to your partner, take a few minutes to meditate on your surroundings. Yes, you do have to go home. But for this moment, you're still in paradise.
While every vacation has its ups and downs, most of the downs are avoidable. Keep a sense of humor and lots of hugs handy for your trip. These two ingredients will help you avoid (or at least cut short!) any issues that may arise. And remember, you're on vacation; have fun!
Catherine Behan is a highly educated dating coach, freelance writer, and editor. She currently works as a Law of Attraction and Success Coach, where she leverages her expertise in EFT to help people attract abundance into their lives.
Dr. Shoshana Bennett is a leading maternal mental health expert and clinical psychologist who has transformed countless lives through her radio shows, books, lectures, interactive teleclasses, consultations, and videos.
